国外也有段子手:快去叫阿扎尔回来!

作者:今日新鲜事 体育新闻 2019-08-13 17:20:05

今日新鲜事:国外也有段子手:快去叫阿扎尔回来!

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!上周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷,曼联大胜切尔西,阿森纳小胜纽卡,利物浦、曼城和巴萨等也战胜对手,阿扎尔取得皇马处子球,马竞则在和尤文的焦点之战中取胜。转会市场上,卢卡库加盟国米,而大卫-路易斯则加盟阿森纳。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

多点开花,曼联4-0切尔西

ThatMajesticGuy24(未知主队球迷):切尔西球迷退出了群聊。(Chelsea fans have left the chat.)

Sinnedd(阿贾克斯球迷):切尔西浪费这么多机会,兰帕德应该把自己排进首发名单里的...(Lampard should put himself in the starting eleven. Chelsea missed so many chances.)

SnusOchNocco(曼联球迷):斯莫尔蒂尼和琼内斯塔没上场,果然不一样了呢!(Aint the same without Smaldini and Jonesta)

Samarthpotty(曼联球迷):能有两个不害怕球的中卫,真是太好了!(It's nice to have 2 centre backs who aren't afraid of the ball.)

Deservedlyundeserved(曼联球迷):这就是有两个能向前传球的中后卫的感觉吗?(Is this how it feels to have two CBs who can actually pass forward?)

Mahoganychicken(阿森纳球迷):我怎么知道?(I wouldn't know.)

Thefacelessvoice(曼联球迷):才是本赛季第一场比赛,我们就实现去年一半的零封场次了!(First game of the season and we have 50% of our total clean sheets from last season!)

ack_will(未知主队球迷):切尔西下半场只需派上阿扎尔,立马就可以逆转局势!(Chelsea can easily turn this game around in the second half when Hazard comes on.)

Jyoung59(阿森纳球迷):詹姆斯你怎么能这么快?(How are you so fast James.)

Rockflagandeeeagle(阿森纳球迷):她也是这样说的。(That's what she said.)

OfficialKohls(阿森纳球迷):每当NBC评论员提一句“普利希奇在替补席”我就喝杯酒的话,那比赛还没开始我就得醉死了。(Take a shot everytime NBC mentions Pulisic on the bench, You will pass out before the match starts.)

c0r3l86 (利兹联球迷):兰帕德带队拿到英冠前六应该没问题吧…(Frank would have them finish top six in the championship no worries.)

deadpool_walking(埃弗顿球迷):博格巴牛逼!这赛季如果能保持状态,曼联进前四没问题!(Damn, that class from Pogba! If he can be consistent this season, Man Utd should be in the top four.)

Hotzspot(曼联球迷):我们这些年一直都这么说…(We've been saying this for a couple of years now.)

CaptainSkull22(切尔西球迷):这赛季的年度0-4崩盘来的有点早啊!(we are experiencing the annual 4-0 breakdown earlier this season.)

Captain_Priceless(利物浦球迷):总比输给伯恩茅斯0-4强吧…(Better than against Bournemouth tbh.)

阿利松伤退,利物浦4-1诺维奇

0429340(阿森纳球迷):如果忽略四个丢球的话,诺维奇其实应该赢的。(If you ignore the 4 goals they've conceded I think they would have won this game.)

Hopelesscousinlove(西隆拉庄球迷):确实,起码可以说诺维奇比巴萨踢得好点。(Yeah, you could say they did better than Barcelona.)

KapSan1(巴萨球迷):三球领先竟然没被翻盘?怎么我的主队就不这样啊…(Imagine surviving a three goal lead. Could never be my team.)

samifa99(巴萨球迷):看到奥里吉在场上,真是让我心有余悸…(Seeing Origi on the pitch is giving me PTSD.)

Preranrao(利物浦球迷):阿诺德助攻,奥里吉进了第4个球,还有比这更好的搭配吗?(Arnold assist, origi goal for the 4th goal. Name a better duo.)

Panzalu1(巴萨球迷):雅蠛蝶…(yamete.)

robert1811(未知主队球迷):诺维奇应该约定好一个安全词的!(Norwich need a safe word.)

Helkix(阿森纳球迷):诺维奇的锋线还是很有威胁的,不过...后防线对他们自己也很有威胁。(Norwich’s attack has been very dangerous. Defense, though... also dangerous for them)

TheRomitPatil(皇马球迷):萨拉赫也就是昙花2.01现而已!(Salah 2.01 seasons wonder.)

Ajwz(利物浦球迷):面对现实吧,卢卡库不过就是弱化版的奥里吉!(Time to face facts: Lukaku is just a shit Origi.)

Imtomyyy(阿森纳球迷):米尼奥莱38场联赛都坐板凳,结果阿德里安才38分钟就有机会首秀出场了…(Mignolet 38 matches on the bench. Adrian debut after 38 mins.)

Dowdymeatballs(利物浦球迷):好了阿德里安,是时候证明我们为什么会0英镑买你了!(Ok Adrian, show us why we paid £0 for you.)

Strogonofico(未知主队球迷):早知道阿德里安这么棒,当初应该付双倍的价钱才对——克洛普。(“If i knew Adrian was this good I would have paid double" - Klopp probably.)

Miamibuckeye(曼联球迷):从没见过有球队踢了半场就要降级,直到这场的诺维奇。(Never seen a team get relegated after one half but Norwich has pulled it off.)

奥巴梅扬进球,阿森纳1-0纽卡斯尔联

Sinnedd(阿贾克斯球迷):穆斯塔菲没上场,阿森纳开局就在客场零封了!(No Mustafi and Arsenal immediately start the season with an away clean sheet.)

Hunchovis(未知主队球迷):阿森纳这么早就把这赛季的客场零封名额给用完了啊!(Arsenal cashing in their seasonal away clean sheet early this year.)

斯特林戴帽,曼城5-0西汉姆联

Donfranklin(未知主队球迷):萨内,欢迎你来拜仁——最适合受伤边锋的地方。(Sane welcome to Bayern, the place to be for injured wingers.)

blues0(切尔西球迷):咳咳,只是和拜仁有转会传闻也会导致受伤吗?(Even being linked with them gets you injured. cough CHO cough.)

Ultimasmit(曼城球迷):在瓜瓜手下剃光头,各项能力值都能提高50分。(Just goes to show that going bald under pep increases all stats by 50.)

Rrestedhouse(邓迪联球迷):西汉姆主场这么多头发护理产品的广告,瓜瓜能不生气吗?(West Ham just gonna anger Pep with these hair clinic and hair product ads.)

ItsMrButler(诺维奇球迷):所以这意味着我们的上半场还不是那么差劲喽?(So does that mean our first half performance not look too bad now?)

Paul277(诺维奇球迷):欧耶,我们不是本周被射次数最多的球队了!(Hooray, we are no longer the most scored against team this weekend!)

TotalTikiGegenTaka(印度球迷):这赛季最大的看点就是麦克-迪恩大战VAR!(The biggest battle this season is going to be between Mike Dean and VAR.)

Truffles413(热刺球迷):威尔希尔在西汉姆联球衣下又偷偷套了一件曼城球衣吧,这场简直就是双面间谍…(Wilshere secretly wearing a City shirt under his West Ham. Double agent play out there.)

菲利克斯进球,马竞2-1尤文

Blackandwhitetalon(尤文球迷):菲利克斯就是葡萄牙的C罗!(Portuguese Ronaldo.)

jeffmendezz98(马竞球迷):应该给本菲卡更多钱的,我们给那点钱简直太难看了…(Need to send Benfica some more money. Feels dirty, what we paid.)

ConcussedKarius(皇马球迷):这个长得像卡卡的哥们踢得不错啊!(This Kaka look alike is absolutely filthy.)

WhyAlwaysMe1991(尤文球迷):伊瓜因是不是还在想晚上要吃点啥…(Higuain still thinking about what he'll have for dinner.)

苏神格子登贝莱进球,巴萨4-0那不勒斯

pure_black99(未知主队球迷):苏神和格子的配合很燃啊!(Suarez and Griezmann are rocking.)

immu_01(巴萨球迷):所以这场比赛是乌拉圭帽子戏法,法国梅开二度?(So a hattrick for Uruguay and a brace for France?)

Jabari313(特立尼达和多巴哥球迷):怎么没人讨论那位穿巴萨球衣的漂亮小姐姐啊?难道只有我是痴汉么…(Shit nobodys talking about the fit girl in the barca shirt now i feel like a pervert.)

Allin_Alin(巴萨球迷):我和邬龙的友谊结束了!现在岳卫才是我最好的朋友。(Friendship with Own Goal has ended, now Offside is my new best friend.)

Vigneshwaralwaar(巴萨球迷):邬龙就像你的前任,总会回去找他的…(Own goal is like that ex, that we always go back to…)

官方:大卫-路易斯加盟阿森纳

Apex_Lock(切尔西球迷):在被禁止引援的转会窗里,我们怎么还是压力巨大…(How did we manage to still get the stress of a transfer window with a transfer ban...)

diamondsam2(曼联球迷):已经迫不及待看到路易斯愚蠢地犯规,但被罚下的却是贡多齐!(Can’t wait for Luiz to make a stupid tackle and Guendozi to be carded for it.)

阿扎尔处子球,皇马1-0萨尔茨堡红牛

MrConor212(切尔西球迷):宝贝儿,你已经给他们进球了,现在能回家了么?(You gave them a goal. Now come home baby.)

JurijFedorov(西班牙球迷):阿扎尔接下了真正的皇马传奇号码球衣,压力也不小啊!幸好马里亚诺还在队里,可以指导他一下。(Taking over from a true Real Madrid legend. Big shoes to fill. But luckily Mariano is still there to guide him.)

官方:卢卡库加盟国际米兰

UncleGuus(切尔西球迷):还记得当年卢卡库大战莫拉塔的日子吗?(remember when lukaku vs morata was a battle for the ages.)

jr9810(切尔西球迷):所以曼联新赛季是打算只让拉什福德和格林伍德踢前锋了?(So United just going into the season with Rashford/Greenwood as strikers?)

SandorClegane(奥兰多城球迷):他们正期待马奎尔的大头能砸进25-30个球呢!(They're expecting Harry Maguire to slabhead at least 25-30 goals.)

好的,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!(本文转自懂球帝,如侵权请联系删除)

小结

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